We have lived in our home for 29 years as of yesterday.  We moved in on Halloween night.  Tough getting costumes together but we did it.  I have had the same linoleum tile in my kitchen and I gave up years ago trying to keep it clean.  I bleach the heck out of it before company comes.

I decided to sell Rick's boat as it had sat in our driveway and yard for many years unused.  I had a garage sale and put a "for sale" sign on it.  I had four guys stop by and ask about it but none came thorough.

The next spring a guy came by and asked if I still wanted to sell the boat.  Sure, I'd take $1000.00 for it.  He came back a week later with his wife to look at the boat and see if they wanted to buy it.  As we looked it over I opened one of the storage compartments and inside was a raccoon.  I slammed the cover quickly.  The wife opened the thing and said, "there's a mother nursing her three baby raccoons."  We left the cover open, I threw in a few mothballs, and that night and it rained like all get out.  The raccoons were gone the next day.

Time passes and the guy comes back and says he just can't buy it as he had to buy his wife a new vehicle.  I tell him I will give him a deal.  I know he installs flooring for a living.  Take the boat, see if you can get it started.  Decide if you want it and in a week, let us know.  He could install our new kitchen floor for the price of the boat.  He is thrilled.

I am more thrilled because the "albatross" boat is now out of my driveway and yard and I am going to get a new kitchen floor.

The guy doesn't call me in a week nor in two.  I finally write him a note and leave it at his house.  Do you want the boat or not?  He calls me that night and says he wants the boat and will do my floor for it.  Yippee!!!  Can you do it next week?  Sure, he says.

Next week comes and goes.  In the meantime we have gone to the big box store and purchased enough porcelain tiles to do our floor.  they are in the middle of my garage and I can't park my truck in the garage. A month goes by, then two months go by.  I call the guy and say I have to have the floor done by Sept 4 because we are having company and I really want a new floor.

Sept 4 goes by and no floor.  I am upset not only about the floor and the boat but I am parking my truck in the driveway.  I finally text the guy and tell him to bring the boat home or I will have to call the police to help me retrieve it.

He texts back that I really don't want to go there and I text back to bring the boat back.  He calls me and says he will bring the boat back that evening.  The hubster and I are awake at midnight when the boat pulls into the driveway.  We wanted to make sure he didn't ram the garage or anything stupid. Little did we suspect what he had done.

I went out to check out the boat the next day.  It was so oily and nasty and smelling like pee the I was nauseated.  I went in and told the hubster.  He came out and said he thought he had poured motor oil all over the boat.  And we thing he peed in it.

I took pictures in case we wanted to sue him.  After hearing about him from his next door neighbor we decided to stay away from law suit.  He had visits from the police a couple of times since he had lived there.

I cleaned the boat up and I threw away the clothes that I had worn.  I took pictures of the boat and put it on Craig's List Rockford, IL and on Facebook.  I had ten or more interested folks.

Three came and went and I never heard from them again.  On a Saturday morning I got an email from a guy in Chicago and he wanted to look at the boat.  He was two hours away and could be here to take a look.  My bid were up to $750.00 at this time.  I also had a family coming out that day to take a look.  He was concerned that if he drove 2 hours and got here and the boat was sold he would be pretty pissed.  I told him I would call when the family came out and decided.

They came, they passed and I called him on the road to come on over.  He took a look and got out of his car a tool kit.  He checked the motor and said "sure, how much?"  I said $750.00 and he counted it out for me as we filled out the paperwork.  Ca-ching!

I called the big box store and set up arrangement for our floor to be installed.  The guy came out and said they were out about two weeks.  Okay, that was October 1st.  I'd have my floor by my birthday on the 13th.  He called on the first and said it would be two more weeks.  Installer finally came on the 20th and put down one box of tiles.  At that point he said the tiles were not the same size and he couldn't guarantee the floor.  They took the tiles up and put them into their van and left.  The hubster and I went back to the big box store and choose different tiles.  As we were leaving the parking lot the store called to say we forgot to pick grout.  So back we went.  I was beginning to feel like these were my people.

They called and said Thursday the floor would be installed.  Thursday came and sure enough, they were here and I finally got my floor. ( It is lovely.)  Except for one corner.  Hubster and I kept walking to it and looking at it and shaking our heads.  A week later I was allowed to mop the floor with plain water.  Our house was so dusty it was unbearable.  As I was mopping the foyer some grout just bounced right out of its little niche.  The next tile to it did the same, and the next one.

Back to the big box installer.  He would be back out and inspect.

As of today Nov 1, I am still waiting to hear from them.  I guess they must be two weeks out.

Good news is that the albatross is out of my life and driveway and I made $750.00 for my new floor.  But the best news (I think) is that the hubster hates the counter tops with the new floor and now I am getting a new counter top.  Well, maybe by next Halloween?

That is the corner we are not happy with.  Bad cut.

My beautiful new kitchen floor.