Monday, January 19, 2015

A couple of months ago my computer was sabotaged.  My homepage browser was taken over by Ask.com.  I didn't know where or how or when it came, but it came with a vengeance.  I closed it out and turned to Google for the answer but nothing really came back to indicate what was going on.  I noticed my girlfriend was using Ask.com and wondered why.  Perhaps she had been sabotaged also.

Every time I opened my computer I seethed with anger.  I was so upset with the computer  geek that had done this to me.  I went into my control panel and deleted anything with ask in the title.  I made sure that Google was listed as my homepage when opening up my computer.

I rebooted the computer and when I turned it on what to my amazed eyes should appear? You guessed it -- Ask.com.  I typed in some rather bad words into the Ask.com.  Think FOAD (see blog of January 10, 2015).  Ask.com made some suggestions for me.  Suggest this?

I finally went to the hubster who is more computer savvy than myself.  He suggested the control panel thing that I had already done.

I questioned Google as to how to get rid of Ask.com.  I asked Ask.com (repeat that three times in a row) how to get rid of them.  By then each time I opened my computer and had to close Ask.com, there was a domino effect on my brain and ire.  I was beyond seething.  I was truly pissed at the geek who had "gotten one over on me".

I turned to my back-up source.  The Dalai lama son-in-law who began investigating Ask.com. It took him a little while but he found the magical tool in the cloud that got rid of Ask.com from my life.  I made him fudge.

I cannot tell you how relieved I was to open my computer and see my old familiar Google with it innovative artwork (have you submitted one yet?) and my email icon right there ready for me to click.

This morning I opened my computer to it's need of a Java update.  I clicked on the next button and the I agree which I never read, just click on (hey, it's how I was taught) and got more interested in my email and the enchanting notes from so many admirers.  Out of the corner of my eye, I spy with my little eye--Ask.com.

I immediately shut down my computer.  No forewarning, no start menu, etc...  I just shut it off.  I deep breathed for a minute or so, got up and went to get my red grapefruit breakfast and with another deep breath I turned the computer back on.  My girlfriends' photo was there to welcome me.


Aren't they lovely and don't you love my halo?  (Daddy Maxwell's in Port Washington, WI.  Try the pie and fish tacos.)

I held my breath as I clicked the Google Chrome button .  My old friend, Google, was there to welcome me.  Java update be damned!

The worse thing is not that I resented that I had to close Ask.com every time I turned on my computer.  The worse thing was that I was NEVER going to use it no matter what because of what had happened to me.  The mere fact that some little nerd computer geek whore of a son of a gun had written this in to take all the old ladies like myself, who depend on their computer NOT for surfing the Internet for naked male bodies, but to store all of the fabulous stories we have been writing for most of our lives, had set me on the edge of collapse.  Even if it was the greatest invention since the tampon (my opinion over sliced bread) I was never going to use Ask.com.  In fact, I am shouting to the stars and Facebook to beware of Ask.com.

Now I don't know what will happen with my computer if I don't update Java but I certainly am not going to encourage them and I warn all of my readers (all three of you, thanks Lorraine, Pat and Jess) to beware of updates.  And for the Jesus, Mohammad and the Buddha's sake, read the thing before you click NEXT...

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