This morning I traipsed around the house with a dustpan and broom picking up stupid earwigs.  Where in the heck are they coming from?  I swept up eleven of the things and there was a dead one floating in the toilet.

I’m seriously concerned that this is a conspiracy.  The insect overtake of the Earth has begun.  First it was those little box elder bugs that were everywhere about ten years ago.  Then it was Japanese beetles and now earwigs.

I keep a little mushroom jar in my garden and every day I go from plant to plant and pick off Japanese beetles.  Then I leave them shut up and in the sun to die a slow and painful death.  (I am so not a Buddhist.)

The earwigs have invaded the mailbox as well.  I hope they are hot in there.  I wonder if they read my mail?

Can you eat these things?  Perhaps we could buffalo them and start a new eating craze.  They eat crickets in Mexican and the hubster thought them pretty tasty.

Or, I know, I know, let’s make costume jewelry with their pretty little bodies.  Japanese beetles hanging from my ears.  Or one large one made from thousands of tiny dead beetles hanging from a pendant at my throat.  No earwig jewelry for me.  I hate those little pincers.  They can hurt!

When I bring in my fresh lettuce from the garden there are always one or two earwigs in the pickings.  I get great pleasure when I whirl them in my Oxo salad spinner just imagining them dizzy as all get out.  Love it when I am shaking out the lettuce and one falls into the sink only for me to wash it down the drain and turn on the garbage disposal.

I don’t believe in poisoning the Earth but I am not afraid of squashing a bug.  I wonder what my karma will do to me in my next life?