Just a few thoughts

While reading my most recent paperback novel (yes, a book!), I realized how much I hate the gutter in paperbacks.  To read the middle print I have to break the back of the book.  I do hate doing this when it is not even my own book.  Look at the pages.  On the left side and right side of the open book is a quarter of an inch of space.  Why can't the publishers give that space up and let us have a decent gutter?  It certainly would save a lot of books.

Also, when a lot of books change chapters they sometime use white space above and below the title.  This is entirely wasted space.  Get rid of that empty space and it would save on the publishing costs as it would cut down on how many pages were in the book.

* * * 

I have a case of terminal chapped lips.  I have tried so many different kinds of lip balm and nothing seems to help.  I guess it would help if I didn't bite the skin off my lips when they become flaky.  I have a lip balm in each bathroom, by the kitchen, by my bed and next to my reclining chair.  Does anyone ever use an entire lip balm?  No sooner had I thought of this that I used an entire Chapstick.  Thus the answer to the question above.

* * * 

As I was doing laundry the other day, I folded socks and discovered that I had an extra sock.  I checked the dryer and there was no sock.  I then checked the washer in case I had left it in there.  No sock was found.  I have a little basket in the laundry where I throw extra socks.  I go through them ever so often and occasionally find a matching pair of socks.  My thought is, "where do these lost socks go?"  Do they get eaten by our washing machine and are we clogging up the sewer system with a shitload of extra socks?  Is there a website called, "Find my lost socks?"  Maybe there should be...

* * *

Lying with the dog in my lap, I was wondering what do dogs think?  I think they are thinking of 

    1.  food

    2.  pooping and peeing

    3.  toys

    4.  car ride with windows down

    5.  walk

But when my dog is asleep and she starts sort of barking and moving her legs and ears, is she dreaming of chasing an animal?  Or  possibly running away from something scary?  And do dogs think in sentences or just one or two word thoughts?  I often wonder if my dog could talk, what would she say to me?

* * *

Now some aggravations of mine.

People do you know what a thesaurus is?  Look up "awesome" and find some other word instead.  This is awesome, that is awesome.  Is it really awesome?  The Grand Canyon is awesome, Niagara Falls is awesome, but are you really thinking that the inane trivial  happenings in your life are really "awesome"?

I am also getting sick of "high fives".  They are fastly becoming "high tens".  In this day and age of confinement or wearing masks everywhere, shouldn't we find a more hygienic way of telling those around you that "yea, rah, rah, and toot toot, we did it."  How about a "low toe"?  Or elbows are pretty hygienic?  Even butts are hygienic but only if they are covered.

And finally, one of my most aggravating pet peeves -- idiot drivers who don't use their turn signals, and those morons who turn the blinker on right as they are turning.

On a positive note, Peace be with you.

 One of my Facebook friends wrote about tomorrow is never happening.  I thought it was a pretty deep thought.

I used to meditate on being here now.  I got so irritated because I kept thinking that now had just gone and I was not here now.  I now meditate using beads and use it like a rosary.  Each bead is a prayer for patience, contentment, serenity, peace, peace on Earth, peace in Ukraine, peace of mind.  I then pray for each of my friends' health and serenity, then i pray for their dogs' health and happiness.

I have been diagnosed with critical anemia.  I have had a blood transfusion and now have to have another colonoscopy (the one true dread of people over 50).  I am tired of being tired.

In my younger days I was almost hyperactive.  I had such energy that I think I scared some folks.  I would get up each morning and make a list of things I wished to accomplish.  At the end of the day I had checked everything off and then some.  I guess at 71 I should be able to relax and accept my fatigue, but in my mind I still wish I could accomplish things.  Any things...just accomplish something.  Most days I accomplish making my bed, washing up, brushing my teeth and changing clothes.  And then there are other days when I stay in my gown and don't make the bed because I remain in it.

My main accomplishment these days is reading a good book.  Or just reading a book.  I haven't read too many good books lately.  I am on a couple of book club sites to get ideas for good books.  If anyone has read a really good book, please let me know about it.

As for now, I remain being here now.

Peace be with you.

 I woke up this morning feeling pretty good.  Very little pain and a positive attitude.  I did my stretches and exercised, then did my physical therapy exercises.  I then put my legs up the wall and afterwards meditated.  I cannot still my mind so I pray beads.  I pray for serenity, contentment, peace, peace on Earth and for the health and serenity for my family and friends.

I checked my email and Facebook as usual and got a little disgusted with what I was reading.  There is a lot of negativity and hate out there and I, for one, am getting very tired of it.  I have decided that from Nov. 25 to Dec. 25 not to read any of this negativity or hate.  In this month of Peace, Joy and Love, I am going to block anyone who posts anything of this nature.

And I also would like everyone to keep their religion, racist views to themselves.  I am perfectly content with my own religion and unracist views.

I have been going through a rough year.  Moving to a new state, packing and unpacking has been very stressful.  I have had a lot of pain in my back, neck and shoulders.  This morning I am feeling fine.  It might be because I got myself a mouth guard and didn't clench my teeth all night long.  If I did I had cushion.  It might also be because I had a nice positive dream just before I woke up.

I was finally referred to a Pain Management group in Madison yesterday.  My appointment is in the last week of February.  I was pretty p o'd with this.  I decided that if I couldn't see someone to help my pain be relieved, I must do so myself.  I am dedicated to doing my exercises,etc each morning.  I am also dedicated to doing away with any negativity and hate for the next while.

My friends and family, I wish you Peace, Health and Serenity in this holiday period.

Namaste.

“Are we really happy here with this lonely game we play?  Looking for words to say.  Searching but not finding understanding anyway.”  We’re lost in this Mask Parade.

I was singing this song the other day and inserted the Mask Parade part. It is supposed to be Masquerade.   But isn’t this just so apropos?

I find that as I got out the door each day, I have to remind myself of the mask I am wearing.

The other day I found myself without my mask and was just running into the store for a simple item.  I did the Bazooka Joe thing and pulled my shirt up over my mouth and nose

In this horrible day and age, I find that I am not embarrassed by much of anything.  I wear clothes for days; my hair stands up all over the place and I’m sure I have bad breath.  I noticed that more because of the mask.  I haven’t worn makeup in I don’t know how long, even if I bathe and dress up to go out.

I am looking forward to the day when I get up, take a shower, put on a little eye liner, do my eyebrows and swathe on some lip gloss.  We shall go back to the living and the time of personal hygiene pride.

I have been reading some really strange stuff lately.  I read the three Little Women series.  I read Anne of Green Gables.  Of course, these are all freebies on-line.

I just picked up Lost Horizon from my library upstairs and read that.  If you haven’t read this book, I highly suggest it.  In it a monk tells the protagonist, “Exhaustions of the passions is the beginning of wisdom.”  I asked myself, “what am I passionate about?”

The dictionary explains “passion” as a feeling of love or lust.  It is an amorous feeling of desire.  I looked around the room I was in and asked myself, “is there anything in the room that if I lost, I would be very sad?”  I couldn’t find anything in that room except for my dog that I would feel lost without.

I am to the point in my life that I want rid of my possessions.  I have accumulated forty-eight years of possessions.  And now I am stuck with my husband’s possessions as well.  And there is not one thing except the dog that I would just die without.

Later that evening, lost in thought, I wrote down, “There once was a man who took my breath away, and then there was a man who gave my breath back to me.”  Which was more valuable to my life?

Have you noticed that sometimes it is hard to breath with a mask on?  I have been watching “Grey’s Anatomy” on Netflix.  The masks that the doctors wear are so familiar to me.  Are we getting used to this Mask Parade?

https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tFP1zcsNjDNLjIoSjJg9BLPSc3PUygqLS5OzclRyE0sLixNLUpMSQUA-HUNeA&q=leon+russell+masquerade&oq=Leon&aqs=chrome.1.69i59j46j69i57j0l2j46l3.2506j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Lonely is:

Not cleaning your house because no one visits to see it, and you don’t care.

Wanting someone to visit but you’d have to bathe.

The quiet of the house is driving you bonkers.

You’re tired of doing puzzles.

Letting the laundry back up because you wear the same thing for a week or more and you don’t really care.

Wanting to call someone but you haven’t done anything to talk to them about and you feel guilty if they have news and it reminds you that you have no life.

Understanding about that guy in the movie who yelled out the window, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”, but realizing it wouldn’t make any difference because everyone else is in the same boat as you are.

Talking to the dog because she needs to know that you are doing things like brushing your teeth or going to pee.

Thinking “F it” and having a glass of wine and taking a nap at 11:00 am.

Being elated over visiting the mailbox and waving to your neighbor.

Your refrigerator is clean because you’re not shopping for groceries because you’re not cooking and eating.

Eating a sandwich over the sink so not to dirty dishes or use a napkin.

Having time to paint your toenails, brush the dog and trim her toenails.

Wanting to go bike riding but you’re old and scared of falling.

Wanting to take a walk but it is too hot, and the mosquitoes are killer.

Lonely is the pits.

Peace be with us all.

Some thoughts on Corona Virus and others

Last night as usual I was up and awake at 2 in the morning.  I kept having these thoughts and I got up and wrote them down.  I haven’t written anything in a very long time.

This virus is killing the lower and middle class, which I think the 1% is so in favor of.

Why should you limit boating to two people:  if five people in the same family who have been together through the whole cluster fuck of stupidity, why can’t they cannot go boating in their own boat?

Try going through this pandemic when your husband of 34 years has just died, and you are alone but for one or two days a week!  Thank God, sweet baby Jesus, Buddha, Shiva, Mohammed and all the other gods for my daughter and her husband.  They have been visiting one day a week helping me out with chores I can’t do and making dinner for us in the evening.  And I have been going to their place for a night of dinner and board games.

I am very thankful for my family and friends who have been checking up on me.  Never a day goes by that I don’t get a call or text from someone special to me just to check up on how I am doing that day.  A true friend is a gift from God.

Some of my friends and neighbors have started having Social Distance Parties.  We gather on someone’s driveway, bring our own chair and a beer.  We laugh and talk about various topics.  Someone brings a favorite joke to share.  It is such a relief to me to be around folks that I care about, and it refreshes my soul to be out of my house and in the open air with loving friends.  Humans need social interaction, but we have gone several years not socializing remaining on our phone, computer or notebook and not interacting in person.

In the past week I have seen families outside playing together in their yard, going on long walks and taking the dog.  (I believe dogs have Cabin Fever as well as we humans do.) 

Families are rediscovering old board games and jigsaw puzzles.  And I love it.

I’ve heard in Illinois that there is a large fine for being out without a mask.  Aren’t there just some creative masks out there?  I just hope they are safe enough so we can eventually kick this Mother’s butt!

Protesters are out there in the streets, some with masks and some without.  They will probably cause a mass growth of this virus and we will have to suffer further because of their stupidity.

I’m not one to be a sheep and follow the crowd, but this is a serious illness.  I’m 69 years old and I sure don’t want to get it.

I, personally, am climbing the walls.  I can’t pack up stuff because the Goodwill stores are closed.  And so, after packing at least 10 boxes and sent them before this began, I have lost my desire to pack up my junk.  My plan at the present time is to get rid of all my junk, try and sell as much stuff as I can and hopefully sell my house to downsize.

I’ve never been alone in my life.  I always had family or a roommate.  I am so thankful for my dog, Emily, whom the hubster picked but she became my dog.

Desperately trying to keep to my routine of making a list in the morning of what I want to accomplish.   That list is not getting crossed off.  Some days I just stay in my jammies and read or do puzzles that are scattered all over my house.  Some days I forget to eat.

My garden, what’s left of it, is going to suffer this year but I only have raspberries, strawberries and asparagus (which I am cutting every day).  If anyone would like a handful of asparagus, let me know.

I fear that the flower beds will not be flowering this year.  But come to think of it, maybe we should all plant a million flower seeds everywhere just to remind ourselves that there is a future ahead.

How long will this continue?  Just when we felt we got it in hand, “they”” extend the “Stay at Home” isolation order.

I am so very lucky that I have friends and family who check up on me.  Thank you all so much.  It means the world to me.

I encourage you all to have a Social Distancing Party.  Bring your chair and sit six feet apart and wear your masks.  Bring a funny joke or story to tell and be safe.  Laughter will get us through this.

After this is over, I think when we meet others on the street or in stores, instead of saying, “hi”, put your fist to your heart.  Remember, we are all in this together.

I haven't blogged in quite some time because I've had a constant neck and back ache.  However, I was cleaning my computer today and came across this I wrote several years ago.  Hope there no offense.  It was written tongue in cheek.  I love this face on Jess.

           I hate kids.  There, I’ve said it.  Now deal with it!  I can’t stand being around them.  I don’t really want to look at their new pictures.  You have them.  So keep them to yourselves.  Mine are in college and almost no trouble at all, and I don’t look forward to being a Grandmother, thank you.

            When I go to a restaurant and they ask me, “Smoking or non-smoking?” I just say, “As long as there are no children, I don’t care.  Please excuse me but I get to go out to a restaurant maybe once a month and I don’t want to listen to some snotty nosed kid whine about wanting pop not milk or needing to go to the bathroom in the middle of your Porterhouse.

I especially don’t want to listen to you try to get the kid to eat what is in front of him when I had to watch you feed him crackers and cookies while waiting for your food.  I actually watched a mother feed her kid those little plastic tubs of jelly while waiting for breakfast one morning and then she couldn’t understand why he was bouncing off the walls instead of eating his eggs when they arrived.

Sure, when my girls were little I thought they were God’s gift to humanity.  I still think they have a lot of potential.  When they were babies, I nursed them and I didn’t get too far from them until they were weaned.    When they were toddlers I did not drag them to adult parties where people might have been drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes or telling jokes they didn’t need to hear.  They went to bed at 8:00 which is when I had my time to my husband and myself.  They sure as heck didn’t sleep in my bed.

I suppose I am from the old school.  I do believe kids should be seen and not heard at least until they have practiced their manners with their peers.  I have always felt that we were just renting our kids for a few years.  They are little people in training to become adults, on their own, away from me.  They go and have their lives and I get mine back.

Sure I miss my girls quite frequently but that does not mean I want to be entertained by your rugrats.  I have to admit that I do know several kids who are pretty well house broken.  They have good manners, don’t whine or pick their nose in public.  They are pretty fun to talk to and to kid around with.

On second thought, maybe I don’t hate kids.  Maybe I just hate bad parents.