December 20^th finally came. It was the day for me to fly to Arizona for a week of Christmas frolicking with my daughters.  The day started off well.  I woke at 12:30 but made it back to sleep until 2:30.  I got up and read for a while.  Tried to go back to sleep to no avail.  I got up and did 40 minutes of yoga, Pilates and Qi Gong.  Into the shower I went and I was ready to go.

We had a lovely sunrise going into Chicago. The hubster let me off and I made my way to the American Airlines domestic check in.  I was at the wrong place, imagine that?  I ventured to “C” where a young man ignored me while he checked my bag at the kiosk which was a little ATM looking machine.  Got my bag checked and made my way to the longest f…ing line I’ve been in since Kings Island.  (Theme park in Ohio.)

I checked with the folks in the front and in back of me to make sure they were not traveling internationally.  I hate being in the wrong line to find out at the end that I’ve got to go stand in another one.  (State of Illinois bullshit strategy!)

Boston was in front of me and a Brit behind me but who was traveling domestically.  She called her “mum” and spoke with the loveliest accent.  I enjoyed her conversation but I could have done without it.  I think mum and she were bickering.

I checked at the turn of the line to be SURE I was in the right line.  While waiting a young and very handsome black man unleashed the cord gate and stepped between the Brit and myself saying, “I’m working here.” I decided to ignore him but felt like an ass.  I have a suspicious nature and so I turned and asked him who he was working for.  He palmed a security badge with the TSA logo on it.

Note aside from story:  TSA stands for Transportation Security Administration but it is also known as “Those Silly Asses”.  That gave me a chuckle and I wanted to share it.

I smiled at him and told him that I was about ready to turn him in.  I turned a couple of times to ask him another question making sure I could identify him if necessary.  I could only imagine that if  he was really a subversive, and I had the most contact with him but couldn’t identify him because I was so stressed.

I asked him the time, I asked him if he liked his job.  I wanted to ask him what he would have done if I had raised my arms over my head and yelled for Security.  I didn’t.

A security officer and his dog came by sniffing at everyone.  The dog nudged me in the butt and gave me a star.  Everyone was staring at me and the black man behind me.  The dog proceeded to jump on the man and he took a rope of some kind from him.  The security man picked up the dog hugging her like a lamb and praising her.  “Good job.”

I asked the man behind me, “was that the job you were doing?”  “Yeah, it was,” he replied.  I told him he was doing a good job and he exited from the area.

The dog was a beaut.  She was liver colored and a hound of some kind.  Feel secure folks.  The TSA are doing their jobs.

I finally made it to the security check and I made it through fine.  The line I went to was long but the one next to it was not.  I switched lines.  As I went thought he security gate a guard waved me back.  I had been randomly selected.  I can’t win the f…ing lottery but am randomly selected.  I gave up my coat and put on my readers as suggested by the security guard.  I went into the special x-ray machine and stood on the footprints.  I was scanned and then frisked form head to toe by a very nice lady who refused to look me in the eye.  I was okayed and I retrieved my purse and jacket and proceeded to the ladies room and relieved myself in more ways than one.

I have friends who really resent the TSA treatment but I feel it is for our security.  I have nothing to hide and so I don’t mind.  Others feel our rights are being violated.  After September 11, I feel I can meet them halfway to insure our country is safe and secure.

Yesterday I spent the morning in Rockford at the Farm Bureau at Horticulture for the Holidays workshop.  There were about thirty gardeners present.  I wasn’t sure where I was going and left early.  It was closer than expected and I got there about an hour early.  They were just unloading supplies from their vehicles to set up and so I joined in and helped set up.

I met Megan who is one of the master gardeners in Winnebago County.  I also ran into Candice who I have had many classes with in the past two years, and who was to be one of the presenters on this day.

Kathy unloaded her car load of goodies.  She had baked nutbreads, cookies, brownies and strudels.  I got the job of cutting the bread into slices.  We got the goodie table set up and folks started arriving for the workshop.  I decided since everyone was so busy, I would be the cashier.  Megan had left her list of attendees on the printer at home.

The first lady who signed up gave me her copy of the receipt and I used this as my ledger to keep track of who paid and who attended prepaid.  Megan was very pleased.

Our first workshop was presented by Candice who gave us a brief presentation of herbs. She discussed varieties of herbs, how to preserve them and how to use them.  Questions raised and answered, we then proceeded to make three different herbal products.  We made an Energizing Facial Scrub using corn meal, oatmeal and herbs (I chose rosemary), Moisturizing Body Scrub, using coconut oil, sugar and herbal oil, and a Pumpkin Spice Sugar Scrub, using brown sugar and pumpkin spice.

I had the stuff all over my hands and went to wash them.  My hands felt so velvety soft and moisturized.

We took a short break and had snacks and coffee and then came back to Kathy’s presentation where she showed up how to make an origami photo book.  I was in awe and I don’t awe much at all.  It was so cute and I couldn’t wait to make my little booklet.

Of course I had to screw up right away.  I used my Winnebago County Extension office pencil (free gift) and the blue ink came off on my paper when I tried to press it flat with the edge.  And then I folded one too many times.  Oh well, it’s just paper.  (That is what Kathy told us in the beginning.)

New paper gotten and I opened my instructions this time.  I had to catch up with my neighbors.  I had such a nice time making this little project.  I haven’t finished it as yet but stopped by Michael’s after the workshop to get some supplies to make another when I do finish this one.

It was fun going around the room and seeing the results of other people’s projects.  I met some really nice folks and look forward to my next workshop.

I travelled to Rockford on Sunday to finish up the grandma movie.  I arrived and Ron, Jason and Megan were setting up equipment to shoot the scenes that the Grandmother (me) and my granddaughter, Megan (Elenita) were making while working at the computer on our family tree.  Elenita and her mom, Kimberly, arrived and we set to work on the shooting.

The lights were the first problem and we tried lamps, opening the curtains behind us, turning up the brightness on the computer screen and setting up the official movie lights.  Shooting a movie is not just filming, it is a mysterious combination of lighting, sound and just the right effects.  We went over our scene several times before shooting to get the right feel of the scene.  Ron, the director, corrected several of our errors and we got down to shooting scenes.

Elenita is such a sweet child.  She is so intent on becoming an actress and it shows.  She is, I believe, ten years old and very professional.  She is a joy to work with.  Her fastidious mother brings an entire crate of clothing for her to choose her outfits for each scene.  Her hair is down to her knees and she had it in braids for this shoot.

I hadn’t planned on wearing what I wore to the shoot.  I brought three outfits to choose from.  But we began and I was in a sweater.  The lights get pretty hot and so I had to leave the set to stand in the garage and cool myself off a few times.

Elenita’s father brought her kitten, Mel, and we shot the scenes with the cat on the desk by the computer.  The cat was pretty cute and cooperated with us quite well.   Ron laughed and said they told him in his movie making class not to use children or animals, and here we were using both.  It worked out just fine.

It took all morning to shoot three scenes at the computer.  We broke for lunch and Jason, Megan and I went to the local Popeye’s Restaurant for lunch.  I had never eaten there before and I have to say the seasonings were just right on my pieces of chicken but it was a bit on the greasy side.  Next time I go I will try the PoBoy sandwich instead and the bread can soak up the grease.

We got back to Ron’s house and had our lunches together and discussed movie making and photography.  Megan is trying to start a photography company.  She has had several gigs so far and is learning a lot about the photography business.

Jason is just getting back into the movie making classes and asked if I would be an extra in his movies if he needs me and I agreed. I’m a movie star!

Next scenes were shot in the bedroom where I lounged after my stroke.  Elenita brought me lunch and danced to entertain me.  The lighting again was a big chore.  Open and close the curtains, set up movie lights.  The boom microphone was the next problem as Jason had to follow Elenita into the room and keep his hand, elbow and the boom out of the picture.  We shot several takes of each of the scenes because of little annoyances.

Ron coughed one time and we reshot.  The boom was in the picture and we reshot again.  I forgot my lines and we reshot again.  We were really having a pretty good time.  Ron played the music he had purchased on line and paid $39.00 for the rights to the music.  (More complications I didn’t know about.)

The last scenes were of Elenita only and so I hightailed it on home to see if I could watch any of my beloved Cincinnati Bengals football game.  I had to make one stop to pick up a few things for dinner and didn’t make it for the game.  They won 31 to 7 and we are now 9 and 1.

And so our movie has been shot and about to be processed into a real movie.  I cannot wait to see the finished product and will post an update as to when it will be shown.  Another big retirement adventure comes to a close.

The reasons I don’t like snow.

1.    It prohibits my going outside comfortably.  I like being outside and I don’t like having to put all of those pieces of clothing on to go outside.  I have my thick socks, warm water proof pants that zip at the ankles, t-shirt, sweatshirt, hoodie sweatshirt, scarf, the hubster’s old waders that we cut to boot height and my snow jacket that my good friend gave me when her mom bought a new one.  Gloves on hands, lotion on my face and a toboggan on my head and I am ready to go.  By the time I finish shoveling a path for the dog to go out and pee I am a complete sweat hog!

2.    It gets on my boots and I can’t get it off.  So the boots just sit there being cold and stay snowy until the next time I have to go out in it.

3.    Going to get the mail.  I usually drive the truck out to the mailbox and get the mail.  I know the neighbors think I am a lunatic but I hate number one above.  I can drive the truck in my jammies!

4.    Refilling the bird feeder is a pain.  The drifts are sometimes halfway up the side of the house.  I have to shovel a path to get out there and then the next time I have to go out the snow has drifted and I have to shovel it again.

5.    I have to put 210 pounds of sand in the back of my truck to get anywhere.  The truck is wonderful during the other months.  I can haul manure, weeds, yard waste and all kinds of good things.  But just let it snow an inch and the truck is all over the road.  Today we have eleven inches to contend with and it is still snowing.

6.    I can’t walk the dog.  My daughter got Jessie dog some boots but she won’t wear them.  The two times I forced her to wear them she walked like she had gum stuck to her feet.  Take a step, shake one back leg, another step, the other back leg shakes.  She lost one and I had to backtrack and so I don’t force her to wear them any longer.  (I have some leather dog boots for sale if anyone is interested.)

7.    We don’t grill much when it is snowy.  I have a foot of snow covering the grill right now.  And the hubster isn’t well enough to go out and shovel.  Sometimes you just crave a piece of barbecued chicken or a Jamaican jerked pork chop fresh from the grill.

8.    The hubster isn’t well enough to go out and shovel and so I have to.  Well I could just scoot the dog out the door and leave her to her instincts like he does.  But us girls like to have it nice when we potty.  She doesn’t like the snow on her little belly and private doggie area.  So I shovel a path by the garage so she can go out.  This is the little path I shoveled and it is almost covered already.  That is a pumpkin on the porch and you can see the composter in the background.

9.    The garden is covered and I still have food out there.  Just two days ago I had a salad from the garden.  The spinach and greens are beautiful and the sorrel is really nice (no thanks to the Satin possessed Japanese beetles.)  And I have the loveliest Brussel sprouts.  I should have cut some yesterday.

10. It brings Christmas, or Chanukah, or holiday or whatever.  I don’t really like the holidays.  I always have hated shopping.  I like to send cards and receive them and I love to bake the cookies.  I don’t like picking up all my stuff around the house to put out other stuff having to do with the holiday.  I like my house like it is with stuff that I like all the time.  I really gave up the holiday and all the brouhaha many years ago.  The girls were in high school and not very interested in helping me decorate and so I gave it up.  The hubster was really into killing a big ass tree and putting it in our two story solarium.  I prefer not killing trees even if they were planted and meant to be killed.  I prefer to celebrate the holiday in a more laid back style with lots of cookies and yummy food cooking in the oven.

And this year will be a wonderful holiday for me as I will be in Tuscon, Arizona with both of my girls and both of my son-in-laws.  The hubster is staying home with the dog.  I will be away from the snow and the hustle and bustle and will be in the sunshine where I am meant to be.

English Paper Piecing

Today’s retirement adventure was a sewing class.  I signed up for the class at Lucky 2 B Quilting in Pecatonica, IL.  The class was taught by the loveliest Cambodian lady named Vanna.  We had a group of three ladies.  One lady was from Lena, IL and the other one was a Brazilian lady.  They all had quilting experience and I have limited experience.

I had no concept of English Paper Piecing but knew I wanted to learn.  You wrap material around this little hexagon piece of thick paper and baste it in place.  Then you sew the pieces together.  It took some time to do this.  Our class ended up being over two hours for only $10.00.

Vanna brought snack and so I immediately fell in love with her.  You know me, I can always eat.  We had pomegranate, persimmon, grapes and almonds.  Perfect sewing food.

We shared stories of our lives and just had the most convivial time.  Vanna was a Cambodian refugee in Thailand before she came to the US.  Christina moved from Brazil to marry her husband whom she met in Brazil when she was a translator for him.

Of course, I had to share my retirement experiences and even got a reader for my blog.  I must keep up with it.

I learned so much about materials, threads and needles.  Vanna corrected my stitches which were too big.  You could hardly see her stitches.  She showed us two of the quilts she had made using the English Paper Piecing method.  They were just gorgeous.

I have Christmas projects going right now but as soon as I have spare time, I will start on my English Paper Piecing project.

Today has been an especially stressful day for me.  I moved my computer upstairs to my usual office.  I had some computer over-heating problems this summer as the upstairs is not air conditioned.  We tried several solutions but finally ended up moving my computer to the dining room which is the hubster’s office.

We did buy a little fan that I left on by my computer to keep it cool.  I have a HOT computer, what can I say.  Must be my blog!

I made a little diagram of the computer processor so I knew which plug went where.  I don’t know if it matters, that is just how I operate.  If you know me and I am not technologically adept.  I have two left hands when it comes to technology.  I really want a smart phone but am silently scared to death.  I don’t like change, like when Microsoft wants me to upgrade to ten and I can’t deal with that.

And so I cleaned my office area and swept the carpet.  I cleaned the keyboard of toast crumbs and the monitor of grapefruit squirts.  I hooked everything up and turned it on.  Oh my, it works.  I am a goddess of technology!

Before I did all of this I checked my email and FB to see if anyone wanted me to write a book or article and to see if the Starbucks cup thing had been settled.  (Just kidding.)  I saw where daughter, Addi, had posted an url to the podcast that she had done with her friends, Z.D. Gladstone and Camela regarding The X Files.  And so I spent a good forty minutes listening to the girls yap about the paranormal and other magical stuff.

I hadn’t noticed before but Addi and Z.D. have similar inflection in their vocalization.  I did confuse them at times.  People have accused Addi of having my horrible southern, Buckeye accent when she was younger but college changed that a bit.  She sounds more like Z.D. now.

Anyhow, I decided I needed to comment to the girls about the podcast since I am also an X-Files fan.  I wrote them a long letter commenting on the various discussions during the podcast.  Silly me, being the word processor that I am, did not save the goofy letter.  As I am printing two copies of the letter, the electricity went out.  I spoke several not to be repeated bad words.

The electricity came back on and my wonderful computer asked if I wished to retrieve the document not titled and I did so.  Well it had saved it for me but the last half of the letter was gone.  And it was such a wonderful letter.  I printed it as is, kicking myself in my mind’s eye.

Lesson learned—save,save,save!

If you want to listen to the podcast you can find it here:  http://www.camelathompson.com/sos-podcast/episode-26-the-x-files

Last week I decided I wanted to bake an apple pie.  I purchased some Granny Smith apples from Currans Apple Orchard.  They use chemicals sparingly and I wanted a fresh, delicious pie.  The apples were not the prettiest but the flavor was devine.

I chose to make a two crust pie because I am really in it for the crust.  I made enough for a two crust 10 inch pie.  I used the recipe from my Betty Crocker cook book.  It called for sliced apples, flour, sugar and spices.  I added lemon juice as I sliced the apples to keep them from turning brown and to give it that little extra umph.  I also grated some fresh ginger root in the filling.

I put in my bottom crust and added my apples.  I remembered this time to dot the filling with butter.  (I sometimes forget.)  Then I rolled out my second crust and cut it with Grandma Faerber’s little wheel cutter.  It makes a jagged edge and is so pretty.

The pie came out lovely.  I put it in to bake and put aluminum foil around the edges so the edge would not brown so much.  I took off the foil for the last 15 minutes of baking.  I also turned down the temp from 425 degrees to 400 degrees.

I was pleased with the result.  The crust plumped up and was so lovely.  I had extra pie crust and made some little crackers with the dough.  Just a hint of salt and they were wonderful.  I put some of my caramel apple jam on the crusts and ate them while warm.

The hubster was pleased with is piece of pie which he topped with the caramel apple jam and some Brier’s vanilla ice cream.  Warmed!

I had lunch with the in-laws yesterday and took them a huge piece of the pie.  They were arguing over who got the biggest piece.  I love spoiling them.

I was supposed to be finishing up the movie today but it was canceled because my “granddaughter’s” grandmother passed away.  She had suffered for a very long time. Rest in Peace Elenita’s grandma.

I have the day off and am looking forward to listening to the Bengals football game on the radio.  We would watch it on the television but our set doesn’t get sound on the local channels and it probably isn’t on anyhow.  They are playing the Steelers and I hope they demolish them.

For those of you who don’t know the story, one of our very good friends was murdered in Pittsburgh a few years ago.  He was a stand-up comedian and magician and did a Steeler joke on stage in Pittsburgh, and two guys beat him to death in the bathroom after his set.

I am making beef stew for dinner in the crock pot.  I love beef stew.  And fresh bread to go with it.  I may make a loaf of beer bread to go with it.  I am using fresh potatoes, onion, carrots, tomatoes and green pepper from our garden.  I have this thing about making something using my own garden grown veggies.  It brings so much more flavor to the stew.  Too bad I didn’t grow the beef but I couldn’t bring myself to slaughter anything I had raised anyhow.

I started this blog last Sunday (one week ago).  My photo of the beef stew didn’t come out.  The Bengals won in a nail biter of a game.

This week I had a pleasant surprise in the mail.  I had donated to the Arbor Day Foundation recently and they sent me a package of little trees.  Ten blue spruce and two redbud trees.  I decided to keep the redbuds and planted them in my front yard with a big stick to mark it so the mower won’t cut it down.

The ten blue spruce went to the campground.  Yes, I did a little gorilla gardening.  A couple of years ago I had planted a white pine in the campground in honor of my friend, Terry, who had recently died of cancer.  The campground supervisors had found it and kept it watered that summer, they informed me in the fall.  It is still doing well.  I surround it with twigs and leaves every fall to protect it for winter.

I took a bucket of beautiful compost and my planting tool.  I had water in the coffee can that held the trees on-hold for me until I could plant them.  As I planted the trees I thought of those friends and family that had recently died and so I guess I was planting the trees in their memories.  I thought of my parents and how I sometimes missed them so much my heart ached.  My brother had died shortly after my father and I thought of him and how he had grown from a bulling big brother to a gentleman.  He died too young but he certainly enjoyed his life.

Our best friend, Dave, had died young right after my father and brother died.  It was an awful winter for us in 2006.

My friend Kim had died at age 39 several years ago.  We had planted a tree in her memory at the lake where we live.  Then our friend, Terry, had outlived what the doctors told her she would live, but we lost her too.

I thought of the recent passing of two of my favorite aunts, Imogene and Reva.  They were such souls.

I also thought of my friend, Barb, who I worked for at the dentist’s office while she underwent chemo and radiation therapy.  She died of lung cancer never having smoked a cigarette nor been around smokers.  She was such a dear.

My little trees were in the ground and fertilized.  I had made the surrounds for them and given them a drink of water.  I left them to the Great Spirit in hopes that they would grow and be reminders of what wonders the Earth has to offer.  “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.”

The photo isn't of blue spruce but a photo of one of the trees growing in the middle of the street.  At the lake where we live there are several trees that were saved during paving and i think that is so very cool.  I love my trees in the middle of the street.  Thank you Lake Summerset.

Today I am making a carrot cake to take to my Master Gardeners’ book club meeting tomorrow. I brought in fresh carrots from the garden and I had purchased black walnuts from the Amish Farm last week.

I used my mom’s recipe for carrot cake.  She made them every Christmas and sometimes for my birthday.  It is my very favorite cake.  I top it with caramel icing that is a pain in the butt to make but so very worth the effort.

The chore I dread most making this delicious cake is getting it out of the bundt pan.  I larded it this time and floured it thoroughly.  I took a deep breath as I upturned the pan.  I spanked it a few times and left it to cool a little longer.  When I went back to dump it out I lost a couple of pieces.  I pieced it back together and ate the crumbs.  I think I put too much clove in this time but it tasted pretty good nonetheless. 

The food processor that wouldn’t die made it through shredding the carrots and will live to process another day.  I did notice that I have broken off one of the hinges that hold it together but it worked anyhow.  Thanks again Diane and Jeff.

I just realized that I don’t have any milk to make my icing and am so very bummed.  With this face of bruises I am not going out.  I have milk powder but I am afraid that it will ruin the frosting.  I’m going through my list of friends and neighbors to figure out who to ask.  The hubster is working and I don’t want to disturb him.

I wrote this a week ago and forgot to go back and finish it.  The hubster brought me milk the next day and I finished my lovely cake.

I made it to the Master Gardener Book Club meeting and shared my treasure of a cake.  I sent home a piece for each of their husbands.  That left me a piece and the hubster one piece.  He gave me half of his, wasn’t that nice of him?  He has his days.

A couple of weeks ago I came across this recipe for Caramel Apple Jam.  Those of you who know me know that I am a freak for caramel.  Not the chewy kind but the melt in your mouth buttery kind.  I tucked away the recipe thinking, “Christmas presents.”

I was in Brodhead, Wisconsin recently and stopped by the local produce market.  They had the usual pumpkins, potatoes and apples.  I purchased a nice looking bag of Mackintosh apples.  I wanted a little tart to my jam so I got two Granny Smith apples to add.

The recipe called for three pounds of apples.  I took the bag to my bathroom scale and weighed it.  Two pounds.  I took it upstairs to the better scale and that scale wouldn’t register it at all.  Confound it!

I decided that the bag and the two big Granny Smiths were about three pounds.  I got out the food processor that wouldn’t die (thank you again Diane) and went to work.  I did one apple at a time and sprinkled it with lemon juice.  (The recipe didn’t call for it but I added it because a little lemon juice adds to everything.)  I didn’t want my apples to turn brown while I was prepping more apples.

The recipe called for half cup of water and half teaspoon of butter.  Seemed like so little liquid for so many apples.  I ended up with half a big pot of apples.  I wanted to cook them today so I could make the jam at a later date.  Again this is why I added the lemon juice.

I realized that the recipe called for dry powdered fruit pectin and I only had the liquid stuff.  I got it the next day when I was in town.

Yesterday, I settled down to making Caramel Apple Jam.   Before I started, I admit I did add a couple of tablespoons of water.  I got my jars all ready to go into the washer.  I had forgotten that my sink had gone on the fritz a couple of days ago and I couldn’t use the kitchen faucet to get the water hot to start the dishwasher.

I ran the hot water in the bathroom next door hoping that would get the water hot.  It did not.  I had to boil water to dump the jars into before I used them.  At least they were clean.  Things like this put me in awe of women in our past who used to can hundreds of jars of food with no running water and no range in the kitchen.  Just the old wood stove and their practical knowledge.

I did notice in my pot that the Granny Smiths had not turned very brown but were still quite white.  Note to self and on the recipe for future use.  Maybe try all Granny Smiths with just a couple of Macks.

The process went well.  The jam came out lovely and all of my jars sealed.  The person who wrote the recipe said they got six jars and a little extra.  I got two pints, five jelly jar sized jars and two squatty jelly jars and a little leftover.  I figure that is about 98 ounces of jam, which is about six pints and a little left over.

I am planning to save my little jams and surprise some folks at Christmas (holiday) time.

PS  The hubster and I had some on vanilla ice cream after dinner last night.  He gave me a thumbs up.  It was very tasty.  I include the recipe:

Caramel Apple Jam

6 cups apples, diced and peeled (1/8 inch cubes, roughly – this takes about three pounds of whole apples)
1/2 cup water
1/2 teaspoon butter
1 package (1.75 ounces) powdered fruit pectin
2 1/2 cups sugar
2 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Peeling and dicing the apples is really easy if you have an apple peeler/corer/slicer, something we found at a yard sale a few years ago for $1. You just stick the apple on it, turn the handle (easy enough my three year old daughter can do it), and the device peels the apple, removes the core, and puts a big spiral slice in that apple.

After that, you just have to chop the apple in the opposite direction to get the nice small pieces you need for the jam.

In a pan, combine the apples with the 1/2 cup of water and 1/2 teaspoon butter. Cook this over low heat for an hour or so, stirring regularly, until the apples are soft.

At first, it will seem impossible that these dry-seeming apples and this little bit of water will ever combine with all of that sugar to make any kind of liquid jam. What will happen is that slowly, the apples will begin to give off liquid and, as the apples get soft, you’ll have about as much liquid as apple in the pan.

When the apples are getting soft, you should get the boiling pot going. Put a towel on the bottom, then add water until your jars would be covered by two inches. Turn on the heat and get the water boiling!

Once the apples are nice and soft (use your own judgment – you don’t want them to be really crisp in the jam, after all, but some soft chunks are delicious), add the pectin, stir it in, then bring the whole mix up to a rolling boil.

Then, add the sugar. This is a fun part, because it all becomes a very thick liquid as you stir it. Bring it back to a rolling boil (and be careful here, it can splatter). Stir it constantly and let it boil for one minute.

Remove the jam from the heat, then add the jam to the jars with a spoon until there’s a quarter of an inch between the top of the jam and the top of the jar. Clean off the rim of the jar, put a lid on it, then put a ring on top of that, turning the ring until you just begin to feel resistance. Repeat until you’re out of jam (we made six jars, with a bit left over to have immediately on toast).

Take these closed jars and put them in the big pot of boiling water. Keep the water boiling and leave the jars in there for ten minutes, then pull them out. Put the jars on a towel with a couple inches free space around each jar. Let the jars sit for 24 hours to cool and make sure after the cooling that the lids are depressed (meaning if you push down in the middle, it doesn’t “click” – if it does, the jar needs to go).

And there you have it – wonderful jars of delicious apple jam!

Today’s retirement adventure I could really do without.  I threw my back out of place yesterday after we finished shooting part of the Movie.  I was changing in the bathroom and stepped into my pants and there it went.  Kerplunk!  I made it home all right but in the night I got up to use the restroom and it went kerplunk again and I fell into the sink.  I have a lovely black eye.  I certainly hope it is better before Sunday when we finish shooting the movie.

The movie shoot went well.  We worked from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm.  Long day for me and it just got worse and worse.

We started at the University Of Illinois College Of Medicine.  They loaned us the facility for the morning.  I got into my hospital gown and crawled up onto the gurney.  It was hard as a brick and the back started its move into discomfort.  We did quite a few run throughs and then started the camera and sound.  I moaned and groaned and I was complimented on how miserable I acted.  (Little did they know?)

We broke down the equipment and went to lunch at Jimmy Johns.  I know I swore I would never eat there and I never will again.  Cold sandwich and it wasn’t even that good.  I ran Elenita and her mom, Kimberley, home to fetch their vehicle.  Then we drove to the director’s home where we would continue the shoot.

We did a shoot outside of my coming home from the nursing home.  It was such a glorious day.

I got into my robe and gown and slippers and we began the shoot.  We did a couple of hallway scenes where I sat in the wheelchair.  Then we did a couple of scenes in the bedroom.  I had to be helped into the wheelchair and on the first try I almost slipped and the back kicked into discomfort.

We picked up and packed equipment and then took a photo of the cast and crew.  I made my way home squirming the whole way.  The back was definitely out of whack.

I didn’t eat much dinner but had a couple of stiff drinks and went to bed.  I had to get up and I just can’t believe I fell.  It hurt like a banshee.

Got up this morning to go work at the front gate but I started crying and I tried lying on the floor to get my back cracked back into shape.  It did not work.  I texted my co-worker and told her I couldn’t make it and she said she would go.  Bless her heart.  Then my other co-worker called me and I couldn’t stop myself from crying.  She wanted to do something to help me and I almost asked her to come down and walk on my back.

As I sit here typing I have an ice pack on and a couple of pain pills in my system.  I am going to try the lying on the floor again and see if it helps.

I will keep you informed about the movie.  It is so exciting!

Today’s subject – kitchen accidents.  The Jessie dog wants to be right next to me ALL the time.  When I cook I open the cupboard door and put a stool by it to block her from coming into the kitchen because I am convinced that someday there will be a horrible accident and either she or I will be so very sorry.

Of course, she can just go into the living room and around the hall and into the kitchen from the other side and she sometimes does that.  So far the worst accident has been me dropping food and her eating it.  The hubster once dropped an entire fresh from the grill pork chop and the blasted dog ate it bone and all.  I pick up her poop and I don’t remember that one.  (Thank goodness!)

When I was little my mom always had a parakeet.  (Not knowing I am allergic to birds, and they thought all along that I had asthma.)  Her parakeets would come into the kitchen and bathe in the sink while my mom washed the dishes.  They would also sit in her lap when she stringed beans and eat the strings.  One of the parakeets, Stinker, Chico or Stinker Two even learned to talk and would say my sister’s name.

My mom would open their cage a couple of times a day and they could fly free in the house.  Usually they only were in the living room and kitchen.  When Stinker Two was pretty old he flew into the kitchen and made a head dive right into my mom’s cast iron skillet.  End of Stinker Two and of having birds in the house.

It didn’t matter because I was sleeping in a feather bed on feather pillows. My family tried to kill me as a child.

In the 1960’s the comic BC was pretty popular.  The local gas stations gave you a BC glass with every fill up.  We had several of these glasses.  They were narrower at the top than the bottom.  My mom had had surgery and my dad was doing the dishes.  One of the BC glasses broke and cut the crap out of the web of his hand.

When Addi was little and just barely walking, Rick and I took an evening off and went out for dinner.  He had a dozen oysters and I thought I’d bring one home for Addi to see.  I wanted to teach her so much.  And that brain of hers wanted to know so much.  Well she was excited to see the oyster shell and tried to eat it.  Not being able to eat it the newness wore off pretty fast.  She took a couple of steps and stepped on the shell cutting her foot pretty badly.  What’s wrong with me?  Well she recovered but didn’t really like sea food for most of her childhood.

When Jess was barely walking she tottered into the kitchen and right into the edge of the lid to our electric frying pan.  I don’t think she bled at all but it left a neat little white nick right beside her nose.  She carried that scar for quite some time.

I once set a fry pan on fire.  I grabbed the baking soda and put it out in no time but still have a dark spot on one of my cupboards.

When Addi was in college she lived in the German house for a year.  There were diplomats coming from Germany to visit the campus and so the German house was putting on a big dinner party.  Addi invited me down and I made my sauerbraten to take to share.

We got all set up to cook and sure enough, Addi cut her hand so badly she couldn’t help cook.  She stood aside and gave instructions quite well, thank you very much.

I am in the kitchen so much that I have kitchen accidents all the time.  Slip in grease on the floor, done that.  Cut my thumb, hand, arm – yes I have done that also.  I also frequently cut off my fingernails.  Those of you who know me know I don’t have fingernails.  So that is an especially hurtful accident.

I have burned myself, forgotten the sugar in a cookie recipe, and substituted stuff you just wouldn’t believe.  (Think rabbit tacos.)  Not really.  But I have threatened hot dog fried rice before.  (I hate hot dogs.)

But without accidents in the kitchen I am sure food would be boring. There’d be no peanut butter and jelly, no gingersnaps in gravy, no vinegar pies.  I’m sure all these things happened by accident.

Yesterday’s accident was my making a recipe for the second time and adding chopped tomatoes to it.  Stuffed peppers with chorizo and rice.  They were fabulous.  And I didn’t even cut off one fingernail.

Photo:  we are having big ass salad for dinner tonight.

In my last blog I mentioned The Food Processor That Wouldn’t Die.  It is just the most fabulous kitchen aide there has ever been.

I first met this machine when I borrowed it from neighbor and friend, Diane, because I wanted to make cherry tomato spaghetti sauce and didn’t have a processor.  I used it one day and took it back to her.  I gave her some sauce to thank her.  The sauce used the entire cherry tomato.  We ate it but the seeds bother us now that we are older so I don’t make the sauce any longer.

I forget why I borrowed the processor the next time but I believe the third time I borrowed it Diane gave it to me.  She pointed out that it had a crack in the spindle and her husband had purchased her a new one.  It was now mine.  I think it has been at least ten years if not more that I have had old faithful.

I have grated zucchini, cheese, carrots, and potatoes.  I have spun sauces and pestos.  I could probably put some rocks in it and grate them up.  But I don’t want to push my luck.

A couple of years ago the spindle puked.  There was the nastiest black gunk ooze out of the crack.  I thought for sure that my precious food processor was done for.  But no – I cleaned it up with some soap and water and it was just fine.

I swear every time I take it out of the cupboard, I think to myself, “will this be the last time?”  I thought for sure those darn ginger snaps would do the thing in.  They weren’t hard eating them.  I don’t know why they were such hell to break up.

I am so very happy to have the Food Processor That Wouldn’t Die.  I don’t know what I would do without it.  (Probably go out and buy a new one.)

My adventure this week is making one of my favorite German meals – sauerbraten.  I am using the recipe from my Betty Crocker International Cookbook, which I think is an excellent cookbook.  I got my book out to make my marinade and noticed that I have to have gingersnaps.  I had forgotten that.  I decided to make homemade ginger snaps.  I have been trying to avoid preprocessed packaged food as much as possible.

I got my gingersnap recipe from my Betty Crocker Cookbook as the international one didn’t have a recipe.  I put them together and threw in some real grated ginger root.  I also didn’t have shortening on hand so I used some butter and lard.  (Well I had it on hand.)

The cookies came out delicious but sort of melted too much.  Second batch I made a little thicker. Lesson learned.  Next time I will break down and go get the shortening.  The house smells fantastic and the meat is marinating in the fridge.  I marinate it for three days.  The regular cookbook calls to marinate it for two hours.  That is so very wrong.

The reason for the sauerbraten is that we are invited to an Octoberfest on Sunday and I wanted to bring the sauerbraten as I am sure of lot of my friends have not tried it before.  I think most people order generic German food if dining at a German restaurant.

I also picked up one of my favorite wines to take to the party.  It is Zeller Swarze Katz (Black Cat) and it is so delicious.  I don’t buy it often so it will be an especially wonderful treat.

And it is now Sunday and the day of the Octoberfest.  The roast came out wonderful.  I made the gravy and had a heck of a time with those gingersnaps.  I first tried them in a ziplock bag and rolling pen.  Then I tried my heavy duty meat pounding tool.  The hubster said to use the food processor but I really didn’t want to wash it.  I own the Food Processer that will not die.  That is another blog sometime.

Got out the food processor and again it work a charm.  After about three minutes on high there was still a piece of cookie.  I ate it -- after I dipped it in the gravy makings.  It was great!   So I am adding my flour and water and brown sugar and I am wondering who in the heck thought up this recipe.

This is my theory.  This nice German wife was pissed off at her husband.  She decided that Sunday she would cook his favorite pot roast but she would spice it up and he was never going to eat it again.  She thought to herself, “I will start by marinating it in vinegar for one, no two, no three days!  I’ll put in all these seasonings and just leave it for three days.  After which I will take the vinegar and make gravy and I will put in a banana.  No cookies.  Yes, I’ll put in cookies.  This is going to be so much fun.”

And the German wife made the roast and the husband loved it so much he made love to the German wife so well that she forgave him entirely for whatever had pissed her off to begin with.  And they lived happily ever after and had sauerbraten for dinner every Sunday.

I realize that while I have been daydreaming, the gravy is starting to thicken, quickly.  I have a teaspoon in my hand and that is all I have to stir with.  I hurriedly try to find my whisk and the hubster comes to my rescue with a bigger spoon.  He has dried the whisk and put it in the wrong place and I want to kick him but he saved my gravy so I resist the urge. 

The roast is cut up and warming in the crock pot for the party today.  I cannot wait.  My good friend, Nancy, is making German potato salad and this meal is going to be great! 

Meanwhile back at the ranch.  The party was so much fun.  There were at least five kinds of sauerkraut dishes.  My sauerbraten went over well.  Nancy didn’t show but friend, Lauri, made the German potato salad and it was marvelous. 

I saw so many friends and got to talk and catch up with them.  Even friends, Lorraine and Vicky, who are usually working, came and relaxed and had a great time.

We had a fire going in the fireplace and I kept it rolling.  Love me a good fire!  We mostly sat at a picnic table in front of the fire.  We sampled a couple of kinds of German wine.  And we ate on and off.

The guitars were brought out and the singing began.  Friend Gary who we NEVER see out and about sang first.  He is getting forgetful and forgot some lyrics but friends sitting next to him kept him on track.

Friend, Lauri, got the guitar and did a couple of her tunes that she wrote.  Joe Clark, as always, kept the songs going.  He has a song book that is three ring binder and it is full of old tunes.  We sang Garden Party by Ricky Nelson which is one of my favorites.  He played Anticipation and had me sing it.

Unfortunately, the hubster wasn’t feeling his best and we left around 4:30.  But I am so thrilled that I got to spend some quality time with a lot of my very best friends.

Life is good.