Thursday, December 31, 2015

December 20th finally came. It was the day for me to fly to Arizona for a week of Christmas frolicking with my daughters.  The day started off well.  I woke at 12:30 but made it back to sleep until 2:30.  I got up and read for a while.  Tried to go back to sleep to no avail.  I got up and did 40 minutes of yoga, Pilates and Qi Gong.  Into the shower I went and I was ready to go.

We had a lovely sunrise going into Chicago. The hubster let me off and I made my way to the American Airlines domestic check in.  I was at the wrong place, imagine that?  I ventured to “C” where a young man ignored me while he checked my bag at the kiosk which was a little ATM looking machine.  Got my bag checked and made my way to the longest f…ing line I’ve been in since Kings Island.  (Theme park in Ohio.)

I checked with the folks in the front and in back of me to make sure they were not traveling internationally.  I hate being in the wrong line to find out at the end that I’ve got to go stand in another one.  (State of Illinois bullshit strategy!)

Boston was in front of me and a Brit behind me but who was traveling domestically.  She called her “mum” and spoke with the loveliest accent.  I enjoyed her conversation but I could have done without it.  I think mum and she were bickering.

I checked at the turn of the line to be SURE I was in the right line.  While waiting a young and very handsome black man unleashed the cord gate and stepped between the Brit and myself saying, “I’m working here.” I decided to ignore him but felt like an ass.  I have a suspicious nature and so I turned and asked him who he was working for.  He palmed a security badge with the TSA logo on it.

Note aside from story:  TSA stands for Transportation Security Administration but it is also known as “Those Silly Asses”.  That gave me a chuckle and I wanted to share it.

I smiled at him and told him that I was about ready to turn him in.  I turned a couple of times to ask him another question making sure I could identify him if necessary.  I could only imagine that if  he was really a subversive, and I had the most contact with him but couldn’t identify him because I was so stressed.

I asked him the time, I asked him if he liked his job.  I wanted to ask him what he would have done if I had raised my arms over my head and yelled for Security.  I didn’t.

A security officer and his dog came by sniffing at everyone.  The dog nudged me in the butt and gave me a star.  Everyone was staring at me and the black man behind me.  The dog proceeded to jump on the man and he took a rope of some kind from him.  The security man picked up the dog hugging her like a lamb and praising her.  “Good job.”

I asked the man behind me, “was that the job you were doing?”  “Yeah, it was,” he replied.  I told him he was doing a good job and he exited from the area.

The dog was a beaut.  She was liver colored and a hound of some kind.  Feel secure folks.  The TSA are doing their jobs.

I finally made it to the security check and I made it through fine.  The line I went to was long but the one next to it was not.  I switched lines.  As I went thought he security gate a guard waved me back.  I had been randomly selected.  I can’t win the f…ing lottery but am randomly selected.  I gave up my coat and put on my readers as suggested by the security guard.  I went into the special x-ray machine and stood on the footprints.  I was scanned and then frisked form head to toe by a very nice lady who refused to look me in the eye.  I was okayed and I retrieved my purse and jacket and proceeded to the ladies room and relieved myself in more ways than one.

I have friends who really resent the TSA treatment but I feel it is for our security.  I have nothing to hide and so I don’t mind.  Others feel our rights are being violated.  After September 11, I feel I can meet them halfway to insure our country is safe and secure.

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