Sunday, January 15, 2017

Yesterday’s big retirement adventure was with dog poop!  That’s right.  Dog poop!  It was warm enough to take the dog for a walk and when I got back I realized I hadn’t picked up dog poop for a while.  Winter is nice because the poops can just hang out in the yard and freeze good and hard for pickup.

I have this old garden trowel that I use for pickup.  The handle broke off and I have it duct tapped back on. I think the cold must have finally gotten to the duct tape as the handle broke off half way through my job.  Make note to self:  buy a pooper scooper.

So there I was out in my yard bent over picking up dog poop.  I think my dog has invited all the neighbors’ dogs to come over and poop in our yard!  I filled an entire plastic bag full of dog poop.  (Yes, I know.  I encourage the use of your own bags.  But I take my own and they give me a plastic bag with my meat anyhow.  But I digress, this is another blog entirely.)

I’m bent over double picking up dog poop and don’t you know, my neighbors drive by and honk at me.  I’m sure they are warm in their cars saying, “Oh look.  There’s Wilma out picking up dog poop.  I wonder if she would come over and pick up our dog poop.”

Many years ago my husband discovered that the doggie poop pick up companies were the largest growing companies in the U S.  He planned that when he retired he would start his own dog poop pick up.  Hell, he has never picked up a poop in our yard in the forty-five years I have been married to him.  He just laughed and said he would hire flunkies to pick up the poop and he would sit in the office.  His phone number for the business would be 1-800-DOG-POOP.

So I’ve been thinking I should start a dog poop pick up company.  I don’t know if you charge by the turd or by the pile, or if you weigh it and charge by the pound.  And do you dump it in their garbage can or do you have to bring it home to your own garbage can?  (I’m sure my garbage man would not like that!) Do you provide your own bag or do they supply you with a bag?

On the other hand maybe I will just stick to picking up my own dog’s poop.

May your dog poop always be hard.  (Thank you Joe Walsh.)

Peace be with you.

 What?  Did you think I was going to post a photo of dog poop?  One of my favorite meals.  Asparagus, barbecued ribs and a Michelob.  Heaven!

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