I have this sorry-ass best friend.  Her name is Garnett Smith.  She is a hermit and lazy and can avoid things you cannot believe.  She didn’t avoid death this past week.  My heart is broken as I loved her like a sister.

Garnett was a state of Illinois employee and like most government employees, got pretty used to being lazy.  Garnett was a registered nurse for most of her life.  She got her start in the Navy.

I don’t remember when I met Garnett.  She lived two houses away from me for years.  I think I met her at my closest neighbor’s when she threw a party.  Garnett wasn’t much for parties, but she loved her music.  I believe we became close when all our friends used to play music in our garage.  The neighbors would put lawn chairs out in their driveway and listen to us practice.  I think Garnett walked over and joined us.

Garnett was pretty shy with her musical talent.  She sang only on occasion and I only heard her play her guitar once.  One of her favorite songs was “Over the Rainbow”.  She played it for me and sang once.

Garnett worked at Singer Mental Health facility when I met her.  I signed up as a temp and got a job working in the facility with her.  My first introduction to this job was the employees discussing a patient who had tied her shoestrings around her neck while wearing her bed sheet.  I had many horrendous surprises while working at Singer.

Garnett and I took walks at noon around the campus.  When we got home from work we would meet up and ride our bikes around the lake which is six plus miles.  We would get halfway around, and she would beg me to turn around and go back because she didn’t think she could make it.  (This was so like everything she did.)  When we made it back to our house she would yell, “Let’s go around again.”  I resisted smacking her.

The Singer place closed down and Garnett and her husband retired.  I lost track of her as she had moved to Rockford.

One day I was at a local gas station and she was working as the cashier.  We started up planning to get together and it didn’t happen.

Years later I got to know Garnett’s friend, Charyl.  She, Garnett and I decided to go kayaking at a nearby lake.  We got to the place and headed for the rental area.  Garnett decided she couldn’t do this, and she wanted to sit in the car and wait for us.  Charyl said, “Absolutely not, you are coming with us.”  We almost dragged Garnett to the checkout.

We got to the kayaks and Charyl went first.  Then I got Garnett settled into the kayak and pushed her into the lake.  She yelled, “There is a snake in the water!”  As I am deathly afraid of snakes I almost backed out.  But I persevered and got into my kayak and pushed off with my oar.

We kayaked out into the middle of the lake.  Charyl and Garnett popped a beer each.  There was no alcohol allowed at this lake.  I joined them in a beer.  Garnett went on and on about how much she loved kayaking.  I threatened to hit her with my oar but was afraid I would overturn.

Two weeks later I discovered that not only Charyl, but Garnett had purchased their own kayaks.  I continued to rent, or borrowed Charyl’s is she couldn’t go with us.

Garnett and I kayaked on the lake where we lived.  It was early morning and hardly anyone was on the lake.  It was so peaceful.

Garnett not being shy about bodily functions was a big belcher.  She proudly let them roar anytime she felt the need.  Out on the lake, her belch roared and echoed.  She was so proud!

Our mutual friend, Terry, had cancer and was very ill.  Garnett and I visited her, and Garnett explained that she also had been told she had cancer of her aorta.  She had surgery and they removed the artery and replaced it with one from her leg.  She was slightly deformed by the surgery, but it was a miracle surgery.  Our friend unfortunately did not have a miracle and passed away.

The surgeon had nicked a nerve in Garnett’s tongue during the surgery and she had so many problems because of it.  She lost two teeth.  She also talked like she was shit faced (which she probably was) but I knew better.  She had a medical marijuana card and enjoyed it frequently.  She also carried a mug which usually had a beer with water in it.  She snuck Rumchata into restaurants and added it to her coffee.

The worst part of the nerve damage was that she couldn’t eat much.  She couldn’t’ chew meat and gave that up first.  She was a steak and potatoes or Mexican food freak.  Breakfast was usually a tostado for her.

She couldn’t’ taste much either and ate mostly French fries with a lot of salt.  I’m saying salt on the plate and dipping the fry in it.

I decided she was going to discover other foods and I took her to a Greek festival and she fell in love with stuffed grape leaves.  We went to an Indian buffet and she ate an entire plateful of food and went back for seconds.  We ate at that buffet many times.  I also introduced her to Thai and Chinese.  She didn’t take to either as she didn’t like or eat rice.

We had many adventures when I got her out of her hermitage.  We went on a tour of the Japanese Garden in Rockford as well as a tour in a boat on the Rock River.  We visited the Nicholas Conservatory and saw the butterfly display as well as the orchid display.  We tried to go to the Rotary Gardens in Janesville but got lost and I was to blame.  Charyl was with us and she gave me what for!

We found out that Garnett had never seen the Rocky Mountains and so Charyl, my husband and I took Garnett to Denver.  We had too much fun as usual.  When we left she called the mountains, “her mountains”.

Charyl had this most wonderful garden at her house.  It was covered and surrounded by lattice.  She had a hot tub, firepit and a dining room in this garden.  We three girls had a sleepover at the garden one summer evening.  We had entirely too much fun and I was surprised the neighbors didn’t call the cops.

I learned many surprising things about my precious friend.  She was half Mexican.  She had a baby when she was young, and his name was Christopher.  He died of SIDs when she and her husband were out for New Years Eve.  She never celebrated on NYE ever again.  She was in the Navy when she was just out of high school but got discharged when they caught her dealing marijuana.  Bless her heart!  She also had polio as a child and had very weak legs as a result.

She also had a daughter.  Her name was Jenny and she lived with Garnett and her husband for maybe a year or two during high school.  Jenny didn’t like living with Garnett and went back to her Dad.  Jenny also, for some reason unknown to me, never communicated with her mother again.  Garnett would visit her on occasion when she went to that town to visit other relatives.

The last few months of her life, Garnett did so many things on her bucket list.  Charyl had moved to Florida and Garnett and I flew down and stayed with her for a few days.  I couldn’t believe it, but Garnett went back not once but several times by herself.  The last time in June, Garnett went parasailing with Charyl.  The next month she, her husband and her son, Peter, went skydiving.

Our mutual friend, Nancy, got a day off from her hell job and Garnett, Nancy and I went out to lunch at one of our favorite places.  They have a deck and you can eat outside.  We spent at least two hours there laughing and enjoying several dishes.  Afterwards we went back to Nancy’s and tried out her new swimming pool.  Nancy’s neighbor, Steve, joined us girls.  We were lounging on our little floaties when Nancy suggested I try her new floatie.  As I jumped on it there was a tremendous wave and Steve was thrown into the air and out of the pool.  I thought I’d pee myself laughing.  I think Garnett and Nancy did.

I am so thankful for that wonderful day because it was the last time I saw my friend.  She became quite ill and didn’t know much of what was happening around her.  The cancer had returned.  Her husband said she didn’t want anyone to see her like that.

My husband got a call last Saturday from Garnett’s husband and he said she had passed that day.  Her husband and son were by her side, as well as her daughter, Jenny.

There is a hole in my heart and soul.  Garnett lived the last five years of her life with fourth stage cancer.  We had so many adventures and I will never forget her.  There will never be anyone quite like Garnett.