This morning I read an article on line that my daughter, Jess, had recommended to me.  It was entitled, “I don’t give a fuck.”  It had the word “fuck” in it at least 137 times as the author included that information in his article.  He is a very good writer and the article was not only very funny but very insightful.

I thanked Jess for the recommendation and proceeded to tell her that it brought back memories of my old best friend, Dirty Dave, and how depressed he was during his divorce.  He had married this little bit of a bitch girl who had no forehead and talked in decibels that made your face reverberate.  I was under that impression that no one was good enough to marry my best friend.  Well, maybe except Becky, of the luminous breasts.  Becky was so cool in the 70’s she wore a white dress to a wedding of a friend and you could see her dark nipples through the material.  The guys were all made of wood that day, I’m sure.

But Becky would have nothing to do with Dave because he was, of course, Dirty.  He did not take kindly to bathing.  He was a carpenter by trade and his hands were coarse from working in the weather.  He had drastically bad sinuses and probably couldn’t smell himself.  In his last years he took to wearing this most ungodly smelling deodorant that was almost as bad as smelling his b.o.

Anyhow back to the divorce.  His little fairy bitch of a wife with no forehead decided that she wanted more out of life and decided to ditch Dave.  He was so sad.  I couldn’t believe my buddy who I couldn’t spend 10 minutes with without laughing my ass off.  (Oh dear, LMAO in the honest sense.)  But truly, he was so funny and had the greatest sense of humor.  On the day of his divorce he headed to a bar and happened upon one called “Fuck Off And Die”.  He bought a baseball hat and wore it to our house where he crashed for the night.

Ferb was so impressed with the hat that he bought it from Dave.  Dave needed money at the time.  (We have lots of photos with different people wearing the FOAD hat.)  Dave came around a lot during this divorce time.  You’d try to talk to him about something and he’d just say, “I don’t give a shit.”  So I got into a foul mood one evening and barked back that “I don’t give a shit either.”  It was presidential election time about then and Dave suggests that we run for President and Vice President on the “I Don’t Give A Shit”, party’s ticket.  We laughed so hard we cried.

He was a wonderful friend and I am so sorry that we lost him early. 

What books had an effect on your life?

The first book that I read that I truly enjoyed for its entertainment factor was Catcher in the Rye.  Of course, Holden Caufield didn’t really change my life, but I did discover that there were books out there that I could investigate and would give me some enjoyment.

I remember reading The Ugly American in Civics class in high school and being totally blown away by the realization that America was not the kind, giving land of the free, home of the brave that I took it for.

Before I get into books that changed my life, I need to thank someone whose impact regarding libraries changed my life.  My best friend, Emma, had the greatest mom.  Her name was Mabel and I adored her.  She took Emma and me to the library about every weekend that we weren’t in school.  I don’t remember Mabel reading anything but trash magazines but her caring enough to give us the chance to love reading is still within me.

I remember reading the Beany Malone series of mysteries for young adults.  I couldn’t wait to get to the library and get the next in the series.  That probably started me on my way of reading various series of books in the future.  After that I sauntered over to gothic novels starting with Jane Eyre and Withering Heights.

I think I took several years off reading novels because I was in school and had to read what I HAD to read.

After school I became obsessed with Irving Wallace novels.  He wrote a familiar pattern.  Introduce several characters, entwine a mystery into the mix and then connect all the characters with the mystery.  Some of my favorites were The Man, The Prize, and The Word.

Later in my life I became fascinated with Jean Auel’s Clan of the Cave Bear series.  I loved Ayla and her adventures.  I was enamored that she lived alone in the world and could survive, no not just survive, discover all these wonders around her.  The herbs, the weapons, and survival skills on acid. I myself, am a jellyfish and would not survive for twenty minutes alone in the wilderness.  I’d drive myself stupid with my mind racing about all the possibilities of things that could eat me, trip me and I’d break something and be even worse off, or just being alone and not knowing a single thing about survival.

One of the books that really knocked me for a loop was Atlas Shrugged.  I loved Dagney just because she was a kick-ass woman during this very difficult time in history.  But John Galt was my hero.  He wanted all the great minds in the world to go on strike and let the world know what it would be without them.

I know the book was written to enlighten people to try harder and to strive to make the world a better place, but at the time I first read it I was disillusioned with the world and thought John Galt was right and the world should get a re-boot.

These days I read what I want to read, and I believe I over-read my allotted estimation on Good Reads last year by several books.  I ended up reading over seventy.

In my thirties I had decided that I wanted to write a book to thank all those authors out there who had written the books I had read in my life.  I didn’t realize the task that I had taken on.  I wrote the beginning and I intended my hero to be a guardian angel of the heroine of the book.  I wrote the end of the book and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to tie the two sections together.  Then one night I had a dream, and in the dream I came up with the connection between the beginning and the end.

My first reader was a professor of English at a local college.  She was a dental patient of ours and I asked if she would read my book and give me a critique.  She did and she loved the book and the characters.  But she told me to get rid of the guardian angel bit and make his character a real person.  She also suggested that I not start my novel with a flash-back as she said this is a real no-no in literature.

I have now revised and rewritten this book over six times.  I keep telling myself to rewrite it again and bring it up to date.  It is a good story as I have been told by several people who have read the book, including the hubster.  Time will tell.

Go read a good book and enjoy yourself.  Life is short and there are so many good books still to read.

PS  Photo is of my first publication, a poem about gardening.

Peace be with you.

What is one of your favorite stories that you tell over and over?

My favorite story, which could have been a complete and total disaster, is the time our band, Front Porch Jam, played On the Waterfront in Rockford.  I decided I needed to relieve myself before going on stage, just in case.  There was a port-a-potty at the back of the stage and so I went inside and did my business.

As you know, port-a-potties are not very comfortable and actually, quite a tight fit.  I arranged myself as well as I could.  Walking out of the potty and starting up the steps to the stage, a lady that had been waiting for the potty stopped me and told me that the skirt of my dress was in my underwear.  Talk about wanting to die just before you are really going to live.

I am so thankful to that woman, whoever she was, for having the courage to tell a stranger that they were going to make an ass of themselves in front of hundred of people.  There are some women out there who would find humor in someone else’s catastrophe. 

Peace be with you.

Who were my favorite teachers in high school and why they were great?

This really brought back some flashes from the past for me.  I had to get out my yearbook and refresh my memory.

My absolute favorite teacher was Coach Ledford.  He was only a few years older than us Freshmen and had graduated from Carlisle High School as we would in four more years.  He was funny and very serious about Biology.  I love dissecting stuff.  He was my homeroom teacher also and so I got to see him twice a day.  Once when we were all kidding around, he had his paddle out and accidentally whacked me on my hip bone.  I cried ouch and he was so embarrassed that he turned all shades of red.  He took me and one of the basketball players to Frisch’s one night after a ball game.  I don’t remember why but I remember I had a Big Boy platter and an extra Big Boy.

Another one of my favorites teachers was Mr. Scott for American History.  He not only taught us dates and shit but told very interesting stories about history.  The best one I remember was when “Silent Cal” Coolege died, Alice Roosevelt asked, “How can you tell?”

We had a new very young, very tiny English teacher in my Senior year.  Her name was Mrs. Crecelius.  Loving English and Literature as I did, I just held on to her every word.  She was very gesticulating in her manner and sometimes we would imitate her.  Like this one time she told us she had this friend, and she held her arms straight out from her body.  Someone in class imitated her and then we all did.  It was so funny.

Our Senior cheerleading advisor was another of my favorites although not really our teacher.   She chaperoned us during practices and drove us to games that were away at other schools.  She was Native American and the first one I had ever met.  She was from North Carolina and had the loveliest accent.

The teacher I spent most time with in high school would be Mrs. Conneroe.  She was our Choir director and she was a blast.  When she directed she would wiggle her behind and looked so cute.  She was an excellent Choir director and we all just loved her.

And of course, there was my beloved Mrs. Vivian Kruse who told me I was a good writer and that I should continue to write.  Bless her heart and soul wherever she may be.

Memories, trapped between the pages of my mind…

What concerts have you gone to and enjoyed?

The first concert I ever saw was The Temptations.  My boyfriend at the time was going to Xavier University in Cincinnati.  I drove down to Cincy and we attended the concert.  The Temptations were very popular at that time.  When music was real!

The next concert I went to was also in Cincinnati.  My boyfriend took me to see Sly and the Family Stone.  We were in the third row and were surrounded by a sea of black folks.  They stared at us in the beginning but when the music began, we were all up and dancing and singing.  I had to stand on my chair to see the musicians.  I didn’t stand long as it was a folding chair.

I have seen Jethro Tull at least four times that I can remember.  The last time I saw them I realized that Ian Anderson’s voice was going.  I guess that comes with age.

I saw Joni Mitchell in concert in Oxford, Ohio.  It was so wonderful to see her in person.  Every song was amazing.  She played her guitar, dulcimer, piano and some other gadget that I didn’t recognize.  She was at her finest.

Simon and Garfunkel were also an amazing show.  Art Garfunkel sang their new song, Bridge Over Troubled Water and you could have heard a pin drop it was so fantastic.

I was so glad to see Dan Fogelberg.  He died about two years after that concert in Rockford at the Coronado Theater.  The band that played with him were musicians from Spirit.  I guess they all lived close by in Colorado.

A really wonderful concert was James Taylor, again at the Coronado.  He had a picture screen behind him and showed various photos and told stories about the pictures.  He played acoustic guitar and at one point another musician accompanied him.

The Dave Mathews Band concert was a disappointment.  It was on a hill in Wisconsin and the band was about two inches big.  Everyone around sang to every song and we danced also.

I have seen Emerson, Lake and Palmer three times.  The last time was the last really big concert that we saw.  You could smoke in the arena in those days and there were more than just cigarettes burning.  My eyes cried, and my ears were about to burst.  I gave up concerts for quite some time.

I do love the venue at the Coronado and wish they would have more good concerts there.  I’d love to see Cat Stevens (I know that is not his name now and he sings children’s’ songs).  Bonnie Raitt is another musician I’d love to see.  The Barenaked Ladies would also thrill me.

My favorite live band, The Blue Olives, have changed.  They have a new guitar player and I only see them playing in Wisconsin.  I wish they would come back to the Best Dan Bar.

There is just nothing so special to me as live music.  Photo is The Blue Olives.

Peace be with you.

If I could have a talent, what would it be?

Yesterday, I went to Monroe, Wisconsin with my girlfriend, Lauri.  We went to see A Star Is Born.  I saw the trailer on line and have wanted to see it ever since.  I loved the old one with Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristopherson.

Lauri and I arrived early and decided to walk around the square.  We put in a reservation at Pancho and Lefty’s and were told there would be a twenty-minute wait.

We went into Baumgartner’s.  She used the restroom and I looked at cheeses.  They had a piece of Roquefort, but it was like thirty dollars.  I asked the kid behind the counter what cheese sandwich was the most popular.  Unbelievably, muenster was the answer.  Ish and ick.  For those of you not familiar with Baumgartner’s in Monroe, Wisconsin, it is the home of the cheese sandwich.

We sauntered back over to Pancho and Lefty’s but Lauri (Miss absent minded) couldn’t find her glasses or her phone.  She went back to her car and I grabbed us a seat at the bar. We split a bacon bleu cheese burger and guacamole.  We had a short Spotted Cow beer which was on tap and was actually very good.  I don’t usually like Spotted Cow in a bottle.

BTW, if you haven’t been to Monroe to Pancho and Lefty’s you must go.  That bacon bleu cheese burger is the best burger I’ve had in a very long time.  They also have some smoked ribs that look pretty appetizing.  And Korean tacos that sound amazing.

We decided to check out the chocolate shop and I got a piece of chocolate shaped like the state of Wisconsin.  I intended it to be my treat at the movie but forgot it in my purse and didn’t eat it.  Lauri got some chocolate dipped cookies.

We still had a few minutes and went to the ice cream shop and got a small Butter Pecan cone, which was truly delicious.

Finally making it to the movie theater, we got excellent seats as there was no one else in the place.  And it was only $6.50 for the tickets.

And so, the show began.  It was a little slow but as I didn’t have any knowledge of either of the actors, I found it interesting.  A couple of the songs were very nice.  I wasn’t taken by Lady Gaga’s (what kind of name is that?) voice at first.  She has a lovely low range but when she hits the high notes, I think she is kind of creepy.

This guy, Bradley Cooper, is gorgeous!  I read that he practiced for a year and a half to play the guitar for this movie.  He was pretty good.  God, was he hot!

I had heard this story was a tear jerker and knew that from the old movie I had seen in the 70’s.  But when she walked onto the stage with Jackson to sing a song she had written, in front of thousands of people, I cried.  I love to sing in front of people.  I have sung at On the Waterfront in front of a lot of people and it was the absolute thrill of my lifetime.

If I could have one talent it would be to be able to read music and play an instrument, so I could sing along.  In elementary school when they introduced music, my parents decided they couldn’t afford the rental of the instrument.  And so, I missed my chance at learning music.  I can sing and play things by ear but given the sheet music I am at a loss.  In choir, I listened to the part I was to sing and could sing it back easily.

In choir once, I was asked to sing my part.  As I was singing solo my best friend at the time snuck up behind me and pulled my half slip down around my ankles.  I did not sing again until I was in my 30’s.  A group of friends would get together and play guitars and sing and I was encouraged by my good friend, Joe Clark, to sing before the microphone.  I will never be able to thank him enough.

Music is my favorite language.  It brings people together.  It makes people happy.

I am going to a local bar today to hear my friend, Joe Clark, and his new band.  I can’t wait.  Celebrate live music whenever you can.

Peace be with you.  And music too!

What have I changed my mind about as I grow older?

When I was a child, I thought the world so wonderful and beautiful.  Everything around me was so fun and special.  I loved playing, singing, being around other people.  As I have grown older and seen much more of the world, I now know that there is a division in the kinds of people in the world.

There are givers and there are takers.  And these taking people take and take from those around them and never offer anything positive to the world.  And the givers wear themselves out trying to keep the peace.

And there are people who get up in the morning intending to put anger and hatred into those around them.  There are people who see nothing but hatred and negativity in the world.  They look upon their fellow man as an enemy and want to take them down any way they can.  And I feel sorry for these people, but I try my best to avoid them whenever I can.

I worked with the public in many of my jobs and have been treated like a piece of fecal matter.  I have had people attack me for no reason at all except that they hated their lives and wanted everyone around them to feel as badly as they did.

I have also known folks who wear their heart on their hand and would help anyone including those negative assholes I mentioned above.

I have tried to stay in the middle.  If I have contact with someone whose aura is negative and infuriated, I try to steer clear of them or at least to maintain my calmness.  But if I meet a real human being, I give it my all to share happiness and positivity.

I have always said that I don’t really care for 80 percent of the people that I know.  But that other 20 percent, they are my people.  They are the true human beings and I appreciate them to the fullest.

Life is short.  Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Peace be with you.