Monday, March 7, 2016

On February 8 I took Jessie dog to the vet.  She had lost a toenail in the snow and ice and was limping.  It turned out that Jessie had a growth on her liver and was going downhill fast.  Thus began a month long depression for me and my household.  I counted on my calendar and in the last four weeks I have done yoga only four times.  I haven’t attended my Pilates classes and I have done Zumba only three times.

Enough is enough!  It’s time to get my positive ass back into gear.  Yesterday I went for a long walk.  It was cold and the wind was killer but I made it three miles.  Then at 4:00 I went downstairs and did Zumba.  Baby steps matter!

I decided today I had to blog about something.  I was so surprised to learn that my last  blog about my precious little Jessie dog had gotten 71 reads.  That is the most I have ever had.  Thank you so much to everyone who read or shared my story.  I read somewhere that if you can tell your story, you can get over the pain and go forward.  I must believe that to be true.

I dreamed of Jessie two nights ago.  I thought I looked out the window and she and Boris were outside playing.  I thought to myself, “maybe she will learn how to be a dog.”  She was so much more like a cat, bless her heart.

Last night I dreamed she came into a room that I was in.  I told her she couldn’t be here and I watched her as she walked away and walked right through the closed door.  My little invisible dog.

The hubster drove me up to the vet’s office on Friday and we picked up her ashes.  They also created a little heart that had her paw print on it.  I cried on the way home.  He told me I would and that is why he drove me there.  He can be a sweetheart when he wants to be.

Jessie dog will remain in my heart and soul.  She came to me at a time when I needed her the most.  My life was lacking and she filled a much needed void.  The many walks we took, the many truck rides we went on and so much more are memories that I will never forget.

I want to take all her stuff and donate it to the animal shelter.  But I am afraid to go there.  I’m afraid there will be a little girl who needs love and I might have to bring her home to love her.  Give me strength!

Photo of Jessie sleeping on the porch in the sun.

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